I'm Not Perfect (and Neither Are You)

It's a common misconception for women who take the plunge into leaving their careers for SAHM status that their homes will instantly become tidy (they're at home all day), their bodies will become fit and slender (lots of time for exercise and creating healthy meals), and that their children will remain perfect little darlings with impeccable manners.

Really?

For the first few months of my tenure as a new stay at home mom, I thought I could do it all. I’m at home all day, every day, so why not.

The first week I spent cleaning my house from ceiling to floor in every room until it sparkled. I even got down on my hands and knees to scrub the bathroom floor with bleach and a brush to get the grout back to its original white color.

The next week was spent coming up with fantastic, wonderful gourmet meals for my family. I didn’t care that they weren’t met with the same enthusiasm that I had in making them. It’s the thought that counts, right?

After that, I scoured my cookbooks and the Internet for cookie and bread recipes, telling myself how much my family would like it and love that I did this just for them.

After a few months of this, I quickly started losing steam and my “progress” faltered. Things started going in the opposite direction.

Piles of laundry. The sink overflowing with dishes. “I don’t wanna cook, let’s order a pizza.” Again.

I think the reason I started out so well is that I had this idea in my head that I had June Cleaver, Martha Stewart and The Pioneer Woman all wrapped up inside me, just bursting to get out.

It’s now been one full year since I started staying home with my boys. A lot has changed and will probably continue to evolve.

First, I’m not really that crafty. Quite frankly, I pin a lot of crafty and fun stuff on Pinterest (have a look through my boards and you'll see what I mean), but am I really going to do all those projects? Probably not. One or two maybe…

I don't even know how to use a sewing machine, people!

Source: gltc.co.uk via Stephanie on Pinterest

I love the photos of perfect living rooms, perfect kitchens, perfectly organized pantries and linen closets. I’ve come to realize my house will never look like those pictures, at least not until after the boys are grown and moved out. I like our lived-in look. 

I’ve found that simple meals are much more preferred by my family than the complex meals I tried when I first started staying home. I realize my five year old doesn’t like prosciutto or avocado as much as I do and may never. Oh well, spaghetti it is then.

I’ve found MY way of organizing my pantry and I like it. So what if all the labels are facing different directions or the peanut butter is next to the pasta? It may not make sense to others, but it works for me.

My kids are not as perfect as I’d like them to be, but that’s okay. There are MANY days when my boys are not the little darlings I’ve always wanted them to be. They somehow morph into devil children heathens little monsters misbehaved little boys, but I’ve learned to accept the bad days. They are far outnumbered by the good ones. 

Dishes and laundry still pile up, and I’ve come to terms with it. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these pictures and you’ll see I tell the truth!

Advice Your Mom SHOULD Have Given You

There comes a time in every mom’s life when you say to yourself, “Why didn’t my mom ever tell me these things?” What’s some of the top advice your mom should have given you? Here’s my list: 

1. Your child may be a picky eater, but they will eat anything from the floor or that comes from a trashcan.
2. When your child uses the “F” word and uses in in context, don’t laugh.
3. Move your “fun times” stuff somewhere they can't reach it, or preferably a locked box. They will find it and either model it for you or play with it. Again, don’t laugh.
4. Even though you said you would NEVER yell at your child, you will.
5. Baby wipes are for more than butts; keep them everywhere!
6. Buy more diapers than you think you’ll need, eventually you will run out and freak out; if any are leftover when he outgrows them, give to charity or another family.
7. Trial-by-fire is great, but Google is better. 
8. You will never eat by yourself again; there will always be some little person's germy fingers in your plate. Watch out and don’t stick them with your fork.
9. All diapers leak.
10. The weight on the box of diapers is NOT how much they will hold. 
11. You do not have to have your kid potty trained by the time they are two years old. Stop stressing out about it!
12. Stop trying to keep up with the other mom’s in your playgroup, they are not June Cleaver and neither are you.
13. Your kids are more important than a clean house.
14. You will talk about the kids during date night.
15. It's okay to talk about your parenting failures as well as the triumphs.

 What advice do you wish you had been given?

 

 

Murphy's Law Monday

It's inevitable that no matter how hard you try to make your day run smoothly, something comes along in your path to make you want to crawl back in bed, huddle in the fetal position under your blankets, throw out the rest of your day and just say "screw it."

Today it's been a number of things. From accidentally adding real sugar to my coffee instead of the Splenda I usually use, to the hour and a half long dish-washing fest, it's been a less than stellar day so far.

Incident #1

 - My oldest woke up in a wet bed this morning. Not uncommon for a four year old, I know, but he's been doing so well lately and he was disappointed in himself this morning. It's clouded the rest of his day. Attitude adjustment and patience needed, please!

Incident #2

 - The laundry monster attacks. My laundry room is overflowing with dirty clothes, a basket full of towels, and the bedding from the previously mentioned incident. Halfway through the first load of laundry, I hear a grinding and growling noise rattling through my house. Yep, the washing machine is broken... Hopefully the appliance repair man can get it fixed quickly and inexpensively! I can't fathom hauling two kids AND a room full of dirty laundry to the laundromat.

Incident #3

 - Finally planning on tackling the pile of dishes in my sink (no dishwasher, remember?) I end up slicing my fingers open while trying to unscrew the lid of a broken travel mug. **sigh** After getting the bleeding stopped and my fingers bandaged, I gingerly finished the dishes, finally getting a moment to sit back and take a breather when...

Incident #4

 - **sigh again** The little one decides that today of all days, he's going to shorten his morning nap.

Is it possible that someone could send me a beer/Starbucks IV infusion this morning? I could really use it.

It Ain't Easy

A lot of people will tell you that the ability to be a stay at home mom is a luxury. Perhaps it is. But it’s not all about soap operas, internet surfing and reading novels all day either.
I’m a chef, a housekeeper, a bookkeeper, a referee, a disciplinarian, a nurse, a preschool teacher, a driver, a psychologist, a dietician, a playmate… all of that and more. Imagine the paycheck! 

I’ve been a stay at home mom for over six months now, and I really feel it was the best decision for our family. I loved my job and I was good at it! But I didn’t like that I was missing all of those important milestones that are so important. 

With two little boys under the age of five, our house can get downright crazy sometimes. It’s noisy and messy, and most days I’m lucky if I can get a few minutes of peace. I don’t get days off. As a stay at home mom, I’m always working. Most days are a whole lot of fun, but then there are those days where nothing goes right. I try really hard to make sure we keep to some kind of regular schedule, but some days you just have to throw it out of the window and fly by the seat of your pants.

Every day I have at least two loads of laundry to wash, dry fold and put away. I have to wash dishes by hand, sometimes twice a day because even after five years of living in our house, my kitchen still doesn’t have a dishwasher. I’m always trying to keep both boys from hurting themselves or each other. 

I’m in charge of my oldest son’s education. He’s four with the attention span of a gnat, so it gets challenging to get him to sit still for more than 15 minutes sometimes to get him to practice letters or numbers.

Some days I’m lucky if I get to blow-dry my hair rather than just throwing it up in a ponytail while it’s still wet. I miss shopping for “work clothes” and putting on makeup every day. I miss three day weekends. I miss the days of the old me, when I wasn’t just “Mom.”

It becomes easy for a stay at home mom to neglect herself, especially if she feels that everyone’s needs are being met except for her own. It’s one of the reasons I try to make sure I’m awake and ready for the day before the kids are.

Despite all of the challenges, I’m learning to love my new job and I think that I’m finally starting to like the new me.

Sometimes It’s Ok To Cry Over Spilled Milk

Have you ever had one of those days when you wish the Magic Mommy Fairy could sweep down, comfort and calm your children, finish laundry, prepare a gourmet meal for your family and just set up a nice coffee and pedicure station for you?
For me that was yesterday afternoon.

After spending 45 minutes of getting a cranky, whiny, teething Caleb calm enough to fall asleep for nap time, down the street comes a ghetto-fabulous, bass-bumping, pavement-scraping, the-pictures-are-dancing-on-my-walls car down the street. Normally this would never wake Caleb up; I’m fortunate that both of my boys are pretty hard sleepers.

There went my nap time plans of finishing laundry, starting dinner and cleaning out my expired coupons!

After finally getting him calmed down after his screaming fit (because really, who likes being woken up when you’ve JUST gotten to sleep, right) I set him on the floor to play cars with big brother Logan.

Finally I could get at least one task done while the boys were playing nicely together. I finally had all of my new coupons cut and ready to be sorted and my expired ones cleaned out and in the little trashcan next to me. I put my binder away and go back to retrieve the trash can.

I should have brought it with me when I left the room…

When I returned back to the living room, Caleb was sitting in the middle of Coupon Mountain, eating his way through about five dollars’ worth of expired cereal coupons.

Sigh.

Deciding that the boys needed some winding down time in the pool last night, I decided to keep dinner simple: hot dogs, macaroni and cheese and green beans. Easy-peasy. 

All I need to do add the milk to the mac and cheese, and give it a stir. Just as I’m stepping from my stove to the fridge to put the milk back, while at the same time screwing the lid back on, here comes Captain Destructo, quiet as a mouse, right in my path and I trip, dropping the milk and spilling about a half-gallon worth across the floor.

After the way the afternoon had been progressing, you’d think I’d know better by now.

By that point I’d had it. All I wanted to do was lock myself away from the kids and curl up in the fetal position and cry. But a Super Mom can’t do that.

Hopefully today is better.

**On a side note, I just want to wish my friend Courtney’s son a Happy 10th Birthday!